I-Luv-Eeyore's blog

Personality type: Social Realist

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Found at Electric Firefly's VOX

Personality type: Social Realist

Social Realist (SR)

(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.

Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends. In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.

Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.

QotD: Family Dynamics

What's the hardest part about the role you play in your family?

Which role?  The wife, the Mom, the Daughter, the sister, the daughter-in-law, or the sister-in-law?  Do you know how hard it is to be all of those separately and at the same time?

Hardest part about being the wife:  Not letting the responsibility of life take away all the fun,

Hardest part about being the Mom:  Letting go so Jordan can grow.  (and visits to the cemetery--which is the only way I can be a Mom to Samuel.)

Hardest part about being the daughter:  I'm it.  I'm the only daughter---two sisters died at birth...I can make 'em proud or I can make 'em embarrassed.  No pressure there.

Hardest part about being the sister:  Loving my brothers while knowing if we weren't related I wouldn't like them.

Hardest part about being the daughter-in-law:  Making sure they know I'm making their son happy and raising their grandson in a way that will make them proud and happy.

Hardest part about being the sister-in-law:  It's hard being the 'outsider'---always trying to 'fit in' and be part of the family---offering advice just to have it tossed out like someone's garbage.

Now, how about telling the good things: about the easy parts?

Easiest thing about being the wife:  Loving him unconditionally.

Easiest thing about being the Mom:  besides loving him unconditionally---being so very proud of him and his accomplishments.

Easiest thing about being the daughter:  Receiving unconditional love.

Easiest thing about being the sister:  Knowing that if I need them my brothers are only a phone call away.

Easiest thing about being the daughter-in-law:  Being loved because I make their son happy.

Easiest thing about being the sister-in-law:  Now I have a sister to love and share things with---oh, and another brother that annoys me.

Already? In June? Isn't this early?

Maybe it's a sign of an early or a harsh winter---but I've already got ripe blueberries.  They usually don't ripen until late July or early August.  When it is really hot and humid and you just about have to be insanely in love with blueberries to want to stand out in the heat and mosquitoes to pick them.

I went out a few minutes ago to see if they need to be watered (they do) and I found a handful of already ripe and ready to pick blueberries.  The few I ate were sweet, Chris ate one and he said it was sour.  There is evidence that a bird or two has already been out there enjoying the fruits of the Earth, too.

I'm ready, the freezer is empty after not having a single blueberry last year.  Chris needs to eat more ice cream, I have a feeling we don't have enough ice cream buckets.

 

June Blueberries3

Tuesday things or Things on Tuesday

 

Totally Terrific Tuesday Things:

• I woke up this morning
• I had a great time in Houston meeting new friends and visiting with old ones.
• I got to visit Samuel's Spot for the first time in seven years.
• My mother-in-law loves her birthday present
• I caught the typo before I sent this post.
• Anticipation of seeing my sister-in-law, her husband and the girls over July 4th weekend
• School starts back August 6th.
• Jordan is still loving karate
• Anticipating the hair cut that will end with a donation to Locks of Love, and a new short style for me.

Totally Terrible Tuesday Things:

• A friend in Houston is being abused by her husband and there isn't anything I can do to help her until she is ready to help herself.
• Visiting Samuel's Spot for the first time in seven years---who knows when I'll be back
• Gaining back all the weight I lost
• Chris's unexplained weight gain: 30 pounds in less than 12 weeks.
• Husband and son addicted to video games
• Coughing
• Trying to get in to the doctor---oh, she's on maternity leave---so we have to try another doctor.   They'll see me on Thursday for my cough, but will have to see if they can work Chris in for his unexplained weight gain.
• School starts back August 6th and Jordan will be in the 7th grade.
• Child abuse

My visit to the cemetery

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Houston for a friend's wedding.  My plan was to leave the hotel on Sunday morning, go to the cemetery, and then back to my BFF's house for the rest of my visit.  I was flexible and nothing was written in stone, so when the opportunity arose for me to take two of my newly met in person friends to the airport for their flight home I was more than happy to volunteer for the task.  The airport is on the way, just a couple of miles off the freeway and back, no big deal. 

Kelly, Tiffany and I went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch.  I had a very yummy Waldorf Chicken Salad that I'm going to have to try and duplicate here at the house.  Then it was off to find Kelly a souvenir or two for her children and finally to the airport.  At first I was not at all concerned about getting around the airport.  Sure, it's been seven years since I was there but it all looked the same and getting them to the drop-off point was no big deal.  Hugs and farewells were exchanged and off I took.  I wanted I45, not I59, so I started following signs---I must have missed one because suddenly I had no idea where I was (although I knew if I turned around I could find the airport again.)  Then my BFF called to see where I was and how long it would be before I showed up at her house.  I explained where I was and she told me how to find my way to the freeway.  I missed another sign, or turn, or something because I found myself going the exact opposite way from where I wanted to be going.  I was getting more and more frustrated (do you know how much gas is?  Here I was wasting it on just driving around---I had things to do and people to see!).  Eventually I found myself on I59, so I knew where I was and how to get to the cemetery.  I was lost and driving extra places for over an hour.

I finally got on the road that the cemetery was on.  It has grown up so much!  Not at all the 'quiet' road that it was seven years ago.  New subdivision, gas stations, a Wal~Mart SuperCenter and dozens of fast food chains have sprouted up in the area.  I remembered the cemetery being hard to spot if you were going the speed limit and I remembered the landmark that was the sign to start slowing down.  Luckily that hasn't changed and I did not miss the entrance to the cemetery nor did I have to slam on my brakes in order to make the turn.  I drove around to the back where the Garden of the Innocence is, parked the car, got out, and immediately started bawling my eyes out.  I was not prepared for that.  I didn't expect to cry.  I'd been so matter of fact about the whole 'seeing Samuel's Spot' that the emotions that go along with it surprised me.  It had been seven years since I'd been there and I had forgotten that it wasn't easy.  So many new gravestones have been added, so many new broken hearts and life changing events.  I took a  couple of pictures before I walked up to try to find Samuel's Spot.

 

The Cemetery

When Samuel was first buried here the grave markers did not extend to or beyond the statue of the little girl.

 

The Garden of the Innocents

I sobbed and cried for a few minutes.  Sat down beside his marker (making sure not to sit on anyone else's Angel).  I replaced his worn faded flowers that the cemetery workers put into vases when the old stuff starts looking too bad, with fresh fake flowers.  I took a picture.

 

Trish at the cemetery

Then I wandered the cemetery looking at the new markers and at some of the old ones that I remembered, like the triplet babies and the sisters buried side by side.  I mourned for all the old and new angels alike.  I ached for all of the parents, grandparents, and other loved ones left behind.  I spotted two markers side by side that are sunken into the ground.  I can only hope that the cemetery workers see it and get them leveled out before the parents come by for a visit and have their hearts torn up because their angel isn't getting good care.  The breeze was blowing making the wind chimes sing and dance, but there aren't as many as there used to be.  Samuel's wind chime is gone and the cemetery has a new rule saying that safety regulations keep them from putting up new chimes.  Soon, the Angel children that I have always envisioned running and playing making the wind chimes play will be silent forever.

Just like Samuel.

 

Samuel's Spot fixed

How I met my significant other---a meme

Q]Where did you meet?
A] At Wal~Mart

Q]What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?
A] I think I'm going to faint.

Q]Do you remember what he/she was wearing?
A]Not really.  Jeans and a collared shirt I imagine.  It was his first day on the job and I was too busy fainting to pay attention to what he was wearing.

Q]Where was the first time you kissed this person?
A]In the front seat of his car, parked across the street from the house I was staying at.

Q]Where did you go for your first date?
A]Harvey's, a movie, and then to the park to walk around and talk

Q]How long did you know this person before you became a couple?
A]Five years.

Q]How did he/she ask you out?
A]He said: "What would you say if I asked you out?"
I said:  "I'd say 'yes'."
So he asked me out.

Q]Has this person ever proposed to you?
A]He said:  "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"
I said:  "I'd say 'yes'."
So he asked me to marry him.  We've been married for 15 years.

Q]Do you and this person have kids together?
A]1 living son and a baby that died at birth

Q]Have you ever broken the law with this person?
A]Uhm.  maybe---

Q]When was the first time you realized that you liked this person?
A]Oh, jeez!  I have no clue.  When we met I was married so we were friends.  Then he went to college, when he came back I wasn't married anymore and we just 'clicked'.

Q]Do you get along with his/her family?
A]Sometimes better than my own

Q]Do you trust this person?
A]with my life and the life of our son

Q]Do you see them as your partner in your future?
A]No doubt about it

Q]What is the most expensive thing they gave you?
A]I don't look at price tags.  It's the thought and love behind the gift that counts.

Q]What is one thing he/she does that gets on your nerves?
A]Gets angry at the video game and yells at it and/or his indecision when it comes to helping pick out 'what's for supper'?

Q]What is the thing you do that gets on his/her nerves?
A]My indecision when it comes to picking out 'what's for supper'?

Q]Where do you see each other in 15 years from now?
A]30 years of marriage, a 27 y/o, hopefully a grandkid or two, and maybe even some adopted children of our own.

Q]What causes the most arguments?
A]Sex  (too much of it on my part, not enough of it on his part)

I'm back!

Wow!!  I had such a great time and I have some stories to tell...

• Getting lost in my old stomping grounds
• Seeing Samuel's spot
• The wedding
• The friends I met and some hilarity that goes with good friends and alcohol
• My 'old' friends.  I can't believe how much I miss them.
• Migraines, exhaustion, and driving do not make good friends---and when combined make an 11-12 hour drive closer to 14 1/2.

But for now I am still battling the migraine and need to catch up with work.

I will catch up with my 'hood later...but here is a pic to tide you over----

 

Ashley

Later Peeps!!

I'm off to Houston, TX.

I'm going to Ashley's wedding.

I'm going to meet these peeps from my 'hood:

Tasha
Missy
Carley

and last but definitely not least: Kelly who introduced me to these wonderful women and a whole slew of others that we will be meeting.  About 20 of us all together from two different on-line groups.  I'm so lucky to know them on-line and now I will be even luckier to meet them in person.

I'm going to be rooming with someone that I've only ever chatted with through the group.  I hope she doesn't snore!  LOL!!  Maybe she should hope I don't snore.

Tonight, spending the night with my parents as I am dropping Jordan off so they can take him dow to Florida and the beach on Friday.

Thursday night I will be with my BFF from the neighborhood that I used to live in when we lived in the Houston area.

Friday night, supper and drinks with the 'girls'.  Saturday will be a semi-relaxed day while we hang out do some shopping and some eating before the wedding at 7:00 (or is it 7:30---I guess I should double check). 

Sunday morning I will check out of the hotel and go visit Samuel's Spot before heading back to my BFF's house.  Spend the rest of Sunday and Monday with her and the neighbors then on Tuesday it is on the road back home.

I won't have time or internet access so until next Wednesday!

Ya'll have a great week.

QotD: Since my first post on Vox, I've...

Look at the first post you ever wrote on Vox. What important developments or changes have occurred in your life since then?
Submitted by Alexandra.

Take a look at my first post from October 2006.  Not a whole lot has changed since then.  I still have nightmares about snakes.  My complaints haven't changed: Chris still take me for granted, the house still hasn't sold and is still a mess, I'm still unhappy with my job and life in general.  My life dreams haven't changed.  My worries are different--now I don't even remember which friend I was worried about and I've realized that Jordan doesn't have a 'disorder' he has pre-teen angst (I mean he's 'normal').

So, basically nothing has changed.  My life is basically just the same.  Boring and unhappy.

QotD: Homes Sweet Homes

How many houses have you lived in? How is where you live now different from where you grew up?

• Born 1964, Portsmouth, Virginia
• Moved to Virginia Beach, VA
• 1967 moved to 33 Gungywamp Road--- Navy Housing in Groton, CT  this was a duplex.  I remember watching the moon landing on the old black and white TV in this house.  I also remember my brother babysitting one time I refused to go to bed and he tried dragging me kicking and screaming up the stairs to my room.  I remember I grabbed a chair leg and he drug me and the chair to the landing.  That is as far as he got and I think I laid on the landing sobbing until my parents came home.
• Summer 1970 moved to Newington, NH.  This is where I learned to ride my bike; had my first outdoor sleep overs---oh my gosh at the mosquito bites we'd get sleeping on the screened in porches.
• Late 1972 moved to South Berwick, ME.  An old house that had an apartment upstairs.  Part of the buyers agreement was my parents would let the tenants stay upstairs until they decided to move.  So, while they were up there my brothers had 'rooms' in the basement.  Jim was in the old root cellar and Steve was in a 'room' created by stacking wooden crates that at one time had held guns--Steve had a curtain for a doorway.
• Summer 1976 moved to Kingsley Drive in Anaheim, CA.  Once when my Mom and Grandma were gone for the weekend to a funeral my Dad and I painted my bedroom.  Dad let me pick the color.  It was an obnoxiously bright shade of green.  We calmed it down by covering one wall with cork board squares.  It was a great room.
• Late 1979 moved to Tupelo, MS.  We rented a house.  My bedroom had two closets, one of the closets was the space under the stairway to the attic.  I kept that door shut all the time, it creeped me out.
• Early 1980 my parents bought a house in Pontotoc, MS.  I graduated high school and got my first job while living in this house.
• May 1984, got married and moved into a single room 'house' in Pontotoc, MS
• Spent the winter of '84/'85 with my in-laws as the water pipes busted and *he* wouldn't fix them while it was still cold out.
• Spring of '85 back to our house.
• Moved in with his Dad when his Mom passed away and stayed there about six months
• Back to the little bitty house....we didn't sleep in the house, we basically lived in one of those camper shells that you put on the bed of a pick-up...it had a little bitty air conditioner unit so it was cooler than the 'house'.  We showered at the in-laws.
• When my father-in-law died *he* inherited the house.
• Winter/Spring 1991 rented an apartment in Tupelo, MS
• Spring 1991 back to *him*.  When the water pipes froze and broke that winter he refused to fix them until I cleaned the house.  I refused to clean the house until he got the water fixed.  Then I refused to clean the house because I had a job and he didn't.  I used the water hose to wash my hair every morning---I couldn't have the people at work know what was going on.
• August 1992 stayed with my brother for a couple of months while the divorce was being finalized.
• October 1992 one bedroom apartment in Tupelo, MS
• March 1993 two bedroom apartment in the same complex
• October 1993 two bedroom apartment in Southern Pines, NC
• March 1994 moved in with Chris's parents, in Tupelo, MS while he found a new job and I continued to work at Wal~Mart
• November 1994 two bedroom apartment in Tupelo, MS
• April 1995 rented a two bedroom house in Pontotoc, MS
• August 1995 bought a three bedroom home in Pontotoc, MS  This is where Jordan was born.
• March 1997 rented a three bedroom house in Spring, TX
• February 1998 bought a three bedroom house across the road from the rental
• August 2001 rented a house in Villa Ridge, MO   This is where we were when 9/11 happened and Chris lost his new job.
• December 2001 moved in with his parents in Tupelo again.
• September 2002 rented a small house in Little Bitty P!ss Ant town AL.
• May 2003 bought a three bedroom house in Little Bitty P!ss Ant town AL.
• Sometime in the near future we hope to sell this one and move to T-town.

Hmmm....30 moves in 40+ years.  Not bad, eh?  No wonder I don't have any permanent friends.