I-Luv-Eeyore's blog

I'm a crappy Mom

I'm such a crappy Mom.  I couldn't make myself get excited about Halloween.  I just couldn't.  Most of the decorations didn't make it out this year.  The pumpkin got carved, but it didn't make it off the kitchen table.  I got frustrated listening to Tigger go on and on about what how he wanted to dress-up.  I didn't even do up some treats for my co-workers.  I just didn't have it in me this year.

I didn't want to take Tigger Trick-or-Treating.  I wanted to stay home on the off chance that some body would come down my dead end four house street.  But, I didn't.  I even put on my witch hat and witch cape.  But I couldn't make myself have fun.  I tried to scare a couple of obnoxious little kids...but my heart wasn't into it.  I did try to get a guy in a scarey mask to scare the crap outta Tigger.  Told him to hide behind a truck and jump out at him.  I told the guy "I'm his Mom and I'm giving you permission to scare him."  But the guy wouldn't do it.

You know what my thought on the whole business was?  The boy still has Easter candy sitting in there on the counter...why should he even begin to care about getting a bunch more candy that will just get tossed about Valentine's Day?  Oh, don't get me wrong.  I'm proud as punch that he isn't a candy-a-holic....Lord knows I eat enough chocolate to make do for our family times 5...but why would he want more of something that he already has and doesn't eat?

Not only that but he is lazy.  Yup, my kid is lazy.  I knew that we wouldn't get two blocks down the road and he'd be complaining that his feet hurt and he was tired.  I was scared I'd blow a gasket (especially since I didn't have my medicine to take this morning).  We walked up and down two short streets.  He was tired, his feet hurt, and when we got home he needed to take some Tylenol because his legs were cramping.  ~sigh~  I don't know what to do about that.  How can an almost 11 y/o's legs be cramping after walking less than a mile?  And we WALKED SO FREAKING SLOW!!!!!!  I thought I was going to lose it.

So, I bought candy to give out to trick or treaters that no one was home to hand out, should anyone even stop...which they wouldn't have....now I have a HUGE bag of tootsie rolls, some Junior Mints, red licorice, Sixlets, Skittles, and a healthy treat, Granola bars...that are just going to sit around here and go to waist.  (Yes, I know I misspelled it...I did that on purpose....)

Yup, I'm a crappy Mom.  Hopefully I will be in a better mood when his birthday rolls around in less than two weeks.

QotD: Happy Halloween

Did you dress up today?  See any good costumes?

Yes and no.  The boss brought in Hillbilly teeth and had us put them in while a group picture was taken.  Then when it came time to trick-or-treat I threw on my witch hat and witch cloak...but more for warmth and rain gear than a desire to be witchy.

Vox Hunt: Great Costume

Show us a great Halloween costume.

Halloween 2006 037

A young demon and the priest that conjured him.

QotD: Ghost Story

Do you believe in ghosts?  Have you ever seen a ghost? 
Submitted by Nancy.

I have seen a ghost.  Since seeing is believing, I believe in ghosts.

Tigger was taking his nap and Christopher Robin was at work.  I was sitting on the couch and I a woman walked down the hall and out the front door.  She was dressed in a long flowing peach colored dress.  I can't tell you anything else about it.  It was over that quick.  I know I saw her.  I know I saw her disappear through the door.

My neighbor saw a ghost, too.  He was a lost soul that was finally found by an Angel.  She saw the Angel come and get him.  He was dressed in a pale blue suit (like from the 70's) and the Angel was a 'being' that she just knew was an Angel.

My other neighbor hasn't seen any, but she's felt their presence many times.  She sees the door knob turn, she feels a presense standing behind her when she is in the kitchen doing dishes.  She hears someone up in the attic making noises.  She believes it is her mother-in-law, Doris.  She tells Doris Hi, and if she is getting too noisy she has a one sided conversation about how well she is keeping the mil's house and how everything is going good.  Doris doesn't have to worry.  Then Doris leaves her alone for a while.

QotD: It's All In The Stars

What's your sign?  What do you think of astrology and horoscopes?

I'm a Taurus.  The sign of the bull.

Some might think that would make me stubborn.  Well, I'm not. 

Okay, I am...to an extent.

What do I think of astrology and horoscopes?

I think they are full of entertainment value.  Most people of a certain sign may exhibit a similar personality trait (Taurus=stubborn) but not all of them do.  To say that all Taurus are stubborn is very stereo-typical.  I don't like steroe-types.

 

QotD: Well, I'd Never!

What did you think you would never ever do... but did? 
Submitted by Murky.  

Have an affair.

I would have never ever ever thought that I could have an affair.  But, that was before I was married to a man that didn't give me the emotional support I needed.  I went looking elsewhere (although I wasn't aware of the reasons at the time). 

I didn't find the right combination of friendship and love until after I left my ex and Christopher Robin came into my life.

QotD: My First Flight

Do you remember your first flight? Where did you go? Why?
Submitted by Laurel.

 

My first plane trip:  I was 10; my Mom and I flew from Boston to San Diego for a visit with Mom's Mom and stepDad.  Our final destination was Oakland, CA where we were to attend a 60th wedding anniversary for her Grandparents.

 

The day we were supposed to fly out my parents decided to take the family to a Blue Angels airshow.  I don't remember anything about the air show, but I do remember we were running late getting to the airport, traffic in Boston was horrendous...something happened that prompted my oldest brother to flip another driver off; which he proudly proclaimed to my Dad.  "I flipped him off for you, Dad!"  heh, he was 16 and that was the Rebel in him coming out.  We finally made it to the airport, when we got to the ticket counter we were told that the plane was being held for us.  I remember running through the airport.  I don't remember the actual plane ride.  I do remember we had a lay-over in Dallas, Mom layed out on one of the couches to try and get an hours sleep...but I was too excited to sleep and explored the airport a bit; always keeping an eye on Mom and her purse.

 

Cool memories.

Why?

Why do people prey upon others?  I belong to several on-line groups.  Each group has a particular thing in common.  One of the groups I belong to is a group of women that have all lost a baby at some point during pregnancy or very early infant-hood.  So, we are all broken hearted, trying to find our way in the world, trying to make sense of the grief, pain, and emptiness we are now faced with on a daily basis.  We support each other, offer encouragement, and try to help newly grieving Mommies to see that they can get through this. 

We are all already hurting in the worst way a person can hurt.  Why would someone come in and prey on us?  Why?  Why tell stories of tragedies that just didn't happen?  Why make us think that there is another family out there going through tough times, when you really aren't.  I can't believe we were suckered by this person for so long.  Losing not just one but two daughters, one at birth and one at three years old.  Having cancer, getting a hysterectomy, then suddenly finding out that you are miraculously pregnant.  A difficult pregnancy with bed rest finally having a happy healthy baby, then a reoccurance of the cancer.  These are just the highlights of all the different 'tragedies' that supposedly happened to this person.  Then the husband: gave up a career as a doctor to become a Pastor and found out he had an inoperable brain tumor, the family moved and he died...all in a months time.

I can't believe we spent so much time and energy on this woman.  We finally did web searches and found out that most of her stories were just that.  Stories.  Somewhere out there is a woman that lost two baby girls.  I know this because we saw pictures of the headstones.  So, the two girls did exsist somewhere sometime.  But, there isn't an obituary for the two girls or for the husband.  Hospitals in the area of the country she supposedly lives in were checked, no doctors by his name either.  No hospital by the name she stated, either.  As a matter of fact I think this person is trying to make the tv show _ER_ her real life.  Too many names and too much other stuff seem like it came straight from some of the scripts.  Rachel, Ella, Mark...doctor, brain tumors.

I hate that we've been preyed upon.  I hate that I keep trying to see where what she is saying might be true.  I hate that I want to keep the latest e-mail from her to myself.  I don't want the other women tearing her apart.  What if she's sick and needs help?  I hope and pray that she is not a physical danger to any real people.

I feel so sad about the whole thing.  If it is all true, then I feel bad because we have all abandoned her.  If it is all lies then I feel bad because she took advantage of us....me too, because I have kept touch with her via e-mail even after she was kicked out of our group.

Why? Why? Why?

Vox Hunt: Dangerously Cute

Show us something dangerously cute.
Submitted by Indy Bunny.

Taking a nap in the toy basket

The puppy Tigger got for Christmas decided to take a nap in his toy basket.

Dreams

I've been having strange dreams lately.

I dream I'm back working at Wal~Mart.  I've worked there for weeks now it is payday; I get my check and it is for $0.  The reason: I keep forgetting to clock in and out.

 

I keep dreaming about my ex-husband.  How he has turned out to be a good guy and the reason he was so bad was me.  I caused him to drink and fly into rages.  I dream that I am being forced to choose between him and Christopher Robin.  For some reason the choice is hard and I feel like no matter who I chose I'm making a big mistake.  Kind of like the life I've had with Christpher Robin has been a dream and my life before with Ernie is the reality.  I'm trying to choose between real life and a dream.  The problem is the real life is a dream and the dream is real life.  Weird I know.

 

There are more, recurrent themes.  But naturally now that I have sat down to write about them they all go away.